May 27, 2009

May 28th 2008 - This is how it is!

I have thousands of memories falshing on my mind and I'm fiding this day way difficult than any to go through on this day of the year! May 28.. The reason I started a new blog is to pen down all the pain that I will go through when you left me alone in this world. I don't really remember the date you left me alone. I really didn't make a note because I thought we were on a fight. I was not gonna belive it even if you had told me by yourself. My faith was so strong on our relationship. I just needed some proof here and there which I never got at the right time. Our relationship was growing well and we were moving further so very well.

It was those few days where we lost the grip on each other. The days we never met. The days we never spoke much. Even if I was the reason for everything that happened, you didn't have to leave me alone like this, because everytime something bad happened we were finding each other's arms as the last resort. I'm sure you'll remember the mail which you had sent me once for leaving you alone on a night without switching on my phone. You told me that you were literally gasping to breath that night. I don't know how you could you even imagine my emotions about how I'd be feeling every night without you. Don't think I'm used to all this that. All this i meant, NOT SEEING YOU, NOT HEARING FROM YOU! Everytime I wanna see you, I look at myself into the mirror and I look deep into my eyes & I see you. Everytime I wanna listen to you I close my eyes and I be with my silence and I'd listen to your voice.

I remember the time we last met. It was on a rainy day. I came to see ONLY YOU for which you suspected me. I was able see that in your eyes. I was so hurt that day. I was terribly hurt like the way you were hurt. But I wanted to make things work. I didn't go back to my family even they were so supportive. You never gave me a chance to even explain how much pain that I'll go through if you are not around in my life. I thought your presence was my strength. My belief didn't prove me wrong.

Yeah, I felt I was a hallow soul without your presence.

You were surrounding me every minute with your thoughts. You were my atmosphere. I was breathing you. All of a sudden I find it dark and there is no breeze around. I can't even see anything. I'm not breathing. I don't like being like this, I don't want you to be the reason for my hurt. For what we have for each other this is also beyoond our imaginations.

Like the way I never imagined in mt life that I'll ever get to meet someone like you. But I acutally did. I never imagined that I'll be able to introduce you to my family so soon that we hardly knew each other. I simply believed in the bonding. I believed in you. I never imagined that I'll ever get to love someone so much. I never ever imagined that I'd ever miss someone so much. I never imagined that I'd get to through such a tough time of 6 months without seeing you. Did we even imagine that we'd not be together on our first year anniversary the moment we looked into each other's eyes the very first day we met!! I still believe!!!

I'm not calling this my fate! I'm not calling this my bad time. All that I know is that we went apart so that we will meet again! I promise you that I'll be praying hard to see you again in my life and I promise you that these eyes of mine will look at you the way when they first saw you!

With Love !

Aksie as u know me! Karthik Ravi as how I met you!
I'm all of you!!

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