December 25, 2008

If you're single then Jingle :)

For all the lucky singles out there, who are by far the most Happy-go-lucky people so far on earth, may I bow in salute? And wait before you proceed, this is not what you think it is, this is not a post on how to demolish your Single state and become committed!

So why am I saluting you, coz you do not go all mushy and gushy about real simple stuff in life. Coz you are your best when you are single. Coz you are you when you are single. And this post is going to prove all that I said just now and even more. Now don’t take me to be against Love and stuff, I am a romantic by heart and you would have known about it when you entered my blog, but let me tell you I am no idiot.

You should be happy that the ugly and chubby faced kid in a diaper who carries an arrow which is beyond his age, who has two shabby wings and is afflicted by the Mushy Moronitis disease is not pricking your ass right this moment with his rose colored pointed heart shaped arrow! Coz if he had pricked your ass but still you are not sure whether you are single or committed then just read on to find out if you are inflicted with that deadly disease or not for which there is no cure till you die, and my sympathies to you people. Some very well known figures are known to have been affected!

Do you ever put your arms out and just spin and spin like a mad idiot knowing very well you will fall if you don’t stop and still you are spinning, then that’s where it all starts…you are in the initial stages of the Mushy Moronitis!

Does your cell suddenly sing in the middle of the night when you are in deep slumber that too in some lame love song, you are slowly being dragged deeper into the disease!

Do you get chased by mad dogs all the way from your house till you jump into another house in the middle of the night just to wish the person who according to you has your heart ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY’, I am really sorry my friend.

Do you often get yelled at in God knows what language just for greeting someone in the opposite sex from your beloved, I advise you to run far. The disease is getting serious

Do you often pledge all your life, belongings, baggage and luggage to your beloved at your loudest voice from the top of a mountain where you cant even see your lovey dovey one who is standing at the foot of the mountain all misty eyed, I tell you just jump off from that mountain, before you get critical!

Do you ever grin like an idiot when you listen to all those crappy romantic movies and songs they put on radio and TV, you got it big time my friend.

Do you think it is cute to call some one by names pooh, babe (you know the pig) teddy, bunny, cutie pie, sweetie, honey, etc..etc, then I advise you to go test your Brain, coz some major transplantation needs to be done immediately, or else the condition will become worse.

Do you ever think that since you were young you never understood what happened in your life or around the world, but now everything seems crystal clear, then you are in some serious trouble friend, coz nobody can understand what happens in life no matter what the issue! It is just too complicated.

Have you turned sickeningly giggly all of a sudden, and you are no longer spending time with your much worthy friends, whom you now see as villains right now plotting your safe escape, but all of your waking and unwaking hours are spent with the one who according to you is the keeper of your heart, then my friend you digging yourself your own 6 and ½ feet pit!

Do you often hear dialogues like ‘I am never enough for you’, ‘you don’t love me enough’. ‘I know why you are ignoring me, it is because of the new guy/girl in your class’, or much worse ones like ‘Did you think of me?’, ‘why did you take so long to call?( when actually you would have kept the phone a few nano seconds back talking to your beloved), ‘ do you miss me?’, ‘will you do anything for me?’ and so on in all modes of communication available like, Chat, phone, mail, scrap books, facebook wall, A fully dedicated blog to your beloved. You have reached the mature stage, there is no backing now, you deemed to this fate.

In case of guys -Do you ever find 3-4 weeks old baby or babies on your door step on a Sunday morning, exactly when your parents are at home, with a letter saying ‘It has YOU written all over it’ or In case of girls – do you suddenly lose your size zero figure and become size 12 or 13 then let me welcome you all aboard to the world of Mush Morons, You have completely been transformed into one and the disease is spread completely and evenly on all your body parts!

So lets be single and enjoy life when we can, but if you get affected by Mushy Moronitis, then I advise you to do your best not to give in to their deadly symptoms and live life simply and with all the fun you can, coz if you are able to do that you need not reconsider your state of sanity when you are sane and wiser some day later and worse worry what your grandchildren are going to think of you.

Im single :) Yes!